Monday, October 12, 2009

Kakow


I was all like Kakow

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Funny Videos

G.I. Joe Video's Part 1



G.I. Joe Video's Part 2



Juggernaught Bitch!!



Frisky Dingo





Summer Heights High



Monday, October 20, 2008

Ever Been To One of These?

Shit-In's. The most agonizing abdominal and colon ripping stress test your body will ever endure. Well i wouldn't say so much ripping as I would 78Th degree burns inside your anus from sh*t that is moving faster than O.J Simpson driving a white bronco(Eddie Bauer edition of course!) speeding down the freeway like he killed someone. Wait, oops........ 



The strategy.......last man standing who hasn't sh*t, wins. Its like when we were all little kids....last to laugh while watching a funny video or making funny faces at each other gets first kicks in a roshambo game. As you can tell from my sense of humor I win that first kick EVERY TIME!!(9-0) Sorry about that one time James! Hope your future kids won't be walking crosslegged for the rest of their lives. That kick got away from me.

Once the participants are in all agreeance of digesting a stream of their favorite laxative's or Buffalo Wild Wings sauce flavor (the two are synonymous.....I choose the latter myself) you all sit in a room and be the last person to have that fiery explosion out of the rear end of your body. As Family Guy was quoted saying....Thats not poop, it's concentrated evil coming out of the back of you...

In this case it would be the first cantos (Hell) from Dante's Inferno. Which if you recall portrays the innermost 9th circle of Hell as a frozen lake of blood and guilt
(guilt=sins that have built up and have become the form of a liquid or solid mass-also a referense to squirts or clumpy poo). And many are ruled by a death god, such as Negral, The Hindu Yama,or Satan. This could happen to you look here. Just a little known fact Dante left out. Either one or all three live in your @ss, depending on your views. So you might want to call this guy.
















Anyway, since you now understand the basic rules of how Shit-In's work, enjoy with your friends. I would suggest experimenting a little bit. Everyone start on the Dual Action Cleanse product at the same time. I think you would want to get this out of you.

Tips: once prarie doggin (touching cotton) start running around a punching people in the stomach.



Sunday, October 19, 2008

Monday, October 13, 2008

Valley Girl....like like like....SHUT IT B*TCH!!!

In order to fully understand what I'm about to talk about you must edumacate yourself on these recent MTV shows that happen to have "today's" girl types. 

Here and here 


That's right, its the damn Valley Girl bullsh*t.  Valley Girl speech example: "Like for totally sure I'll sleep with you, i mean like its not like I'm going to get pregnant or anything...like are you going to respect me in the like morning, like really?" It has all stemmed from these dumb bimbo's into today's Laguna Beach and Newport Harbor both are shows on MTV. All though I must say L.C. is not considered in this group...to fine!!! 

Wikipedia has referred to is as "ValSpeak."
Valspeak is a common name for a now partially universal American sociolect, originally of Southern Californians, in particular valley girls. This stereotype originated in the 1970s, but was at its peak in the 1980s and lost popularity in the late 1990s and 2000s. Though for a brief period a national fad, many phrases and elements of Valspeak, along with surfer slang andskateboarding slang, are stable elements of the California English dialect lexicon, and in some cases wider American English (such as the widespread use of "like" as conversational filler). 


How many times can you say "like" in a span of about 15 minutes on these damn shows? Oh wait, I did count it one night before my ears started screaming at me with a sound that was more horrid than a human being burned alive....not that i have ever heard a human being burned alive...anyway, in order for me to keep up with the counting I had to pull out the old "degree in unnecessary mathematics" (thanks Marty) in order to calculate.

Seriously? You'll lose count. It is unbelievable. I know my English teacher in high school would break out his wooden ruler and slap the ever living sh*t out of them until "like" was no longer in their vocabulary.....ahhhh the good old days at the Brothers! 

The only thing these girls are good for, is watching how dumb people become over time, but at the same time become more and more popular with TV shows that spin off Newport Harbor, or Laguna Beach...for example "I love money". Wow really? 

I guess in the world we now live in...if you come from a home that your daddy's dad, grandmas uncles sister had sex and your their uncle's aunt then you can get on MTV and have your own show called who's my next kin in line for the $50,000  I'm about to win?  Wait I'm confused. I think i just had two women doing it....Sorry if i just described your family in a nutshell New York, actually I'm really not. 

BOOSH!!!!


Dominant Athletes


Who was more dominant in their time? Shawn Kemp, Harold Miner, Candace Parker, or Rebecca Lobo

Influential Women

The most influential woman of all time. Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman, or Aunt Jemima? Discuss...

Soup Campbell's Courageous Homecoming "Queen" Act's

I was recently engaged in a verbal confrontation between a fellow rival of THE Soup Campbell. She was waving a flyer with all of her accomplishments in life. Such as Miss America, Miss Universe, and even Miss Misses of the Miss. She started blabbing on and on about how great it was for her to be in school here, and explaining how all of her accomplishments could help "A Great American Public University" become even greater.

I told her " NAY," the only man that can uphold the most honorable position at this school (Homecoming Queen) was THE Soup Campbell.

She stared at me a minute and without any sign, THE Soup Cambell comes out of no where swinging on a vine and slaps her in the face! Like slaps the sh*t out of her. Screaming, "Lililili," with a monkey on his back (I think it was the one from his crack story). In the midst of all that was happening, I pondered where he got that damn jungle vine from. She got up from the ground with all of her flyers blowing into the gutters, and they started to battle. I had to put on my Costa Del Mars because the sparks from the battle axes were glowing like the freakin sun.

This went on for about 3 1/2 to 4 3/4 of a minute.

After the battle was over, the rival girl was completely covered in shat. I guess it was from the monkey.

Needless to say, THE Soup Campbell got my vote that day!!!


Video to follow

A Tale of A Living Legend

The story of Gordon has been described as one of the strongest human beings in the world...when people first saw images of him they are in disbelief, and how can one man be a body builder at the ate of 1??? 

Originally from the UK his parents moved to the US for Gordon's future as a body builder, starting at an early age.

For the next two years his training intensified, his father was a master of Martial Arts and began teaching his son. By the age of five he had mastered everything his father had taught him, making him a lean mean bad ass kicking machine.. All he needed was someone to launch his career.

His father knew that nobody had never seen anything like it before. So he started molding little Hercules. By 1999 he was a muscle bound celebrity.

He was offered the lead role in a Hollywood movie about Tarzan. And the saga continues.........

Trailer Park Boys

Trailer Park Boys is one of the best shows to come out of Canada... well ever(Degrassi you've still got a special place in my heart). I didn't come across this show until a few months ago, but it has easily become one of my favorites. And if you don't agree with me, then you are sad. Check out this clip of Ricky.
RickyInAction

Masculine Variety Opening Prayer

Dear Lord, 

We would like to thank you for the man's like myself, males of the masculine variety. Winners all of us, and we'd like to thank you for the woRman's too, and how you made them out of a part of a man that he will never need nor want, to live by our rules and our pleasures.

We hope this offends you and brings you back for more reading. 

I'm gonna blow him.......up.............WHAT??!! 


Blogging


Ok guys this is the beginning of Chazz Blazer and the Green Bastard's Blog, "Chazz Time". Here at Chazz Time, we like to party. We are into all kinds of cool shit. We started this so we could have a place to talk with people that have common interests. So let us know what you guys are thinking about and we'll talk about it. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts as you wish.